Exploring the Intersections of Faith and Life

Conflict

from May 14, 2007

We’re talking about conflict. There’s no getting around the fact that if you are going to lead the church into the future, that you will become very intimate with conflict. How it plays out has a lot to do with how we view it, and how we help others learn how to deal with it constructively.  Part of dealing effectively with conflict is understanding how we interact with the community in conflict – and thus, how we might contribute to the conflict.

Where do you see yourself:

Undifferentiated:
1. Accommodates, pleases, or acts to take care of the other’s pain (gives in)
2. Focuses outside of self (on feelings of others, not self)
3. Connects emotionally (reacts to anything that might disrupt a relationship)
4. Sets vague, nebulous goals (changes with mood, events, etc.)
5. Seeks security (tries not to upset anyone)

Differentiated:
1. Takes a stand (based on values – defines self to others without attacking others)
2. Focuses on self (self-aware, sees how self contributes to situations)
3. Stays connected to others (without getting enmeshed with others)
4. Sets clear goals (not sabotaged by other’s reactivity)
5. Seeks challenge (knows that tension stretches a person’s growth and imagination)
(Congregational Leadership in Anxious Times, pg. 29-30)

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: